Getting Spanked Doesn't Make You a "Better Person"

CONGRATULATIONS! You are among the many humans in this world to have been physically assaulted by your parents!

And if you "like" this photo... you are also probably damaged in ways that you don't even understand. 

If you're proud of it, I'm even more sorry.

I just can't with crap like this. Just. Can. Not.

You probably don't have "respect for others." You simply have a "fear of people who are more powerful than you are." 

"Respect" does NOT equal "fear."

For decades now, there have been studies on this issue of corporal punishment. What they show, ultimately, is that being taught to live in fear of an authority figure doesn't actually make you a better person - just a more frightened and distrustful one. They also show that if you have been assaulted by an authority figure, you're more likely to assault other people, including your own children. 

If your parents "disciplined" you through fear of physical punishment, they were not teaching you "discipline." They were teaching you about power. They were teaching you that people who are bigger than you can hurt you, and that hurting people is an effective way to get others to comply with your wishes. 

And I am so, so sorry.

I am dating a 48-year-old man who used to get assaulted by his ex-wife. Simple things such as me opening the bedroom door or turning on a light in the middle of the night make him flinch. He's a foot taller than me, built like a linebacker, and strong as a bull. But physical assault makes an imprint that lasts a lifetime.

I am the mother of a child who had her bones broken by the man she called a stepfather. She jumps at the sound of a fire alarm. Because physical assault makes an imprint that lasts a lifetime.

"But I wasn't abused! My parents only spanked me on the butt!" (Yada yada yada...) No. Your parents beat you. And it didn't make you a more respectful, or a "better," person. It simply taught you that if there is someone in the room that is stronger than you, then you'd better comply, because if you don't, that person will hurt you.

And that is the worst possible form of "discipline" that an adult can use on a child.

DO BETTER, PEOPLE. If you were spanked as a child and you turned out "okay," congrats. But mark my words - you aren't a "good person" just because your parents didn't know any more effective way to teach you how to conduct yourself.

STOP reinforcing the toxic myth that corporal punishment is "okay." It isn't.